Please scroll down for the English translation!
《蛙文：臭屁勒》
郭少鳳著
我曾經聽到一個好難回答嘅問題：「我哋成日叫人愛護大自然，保護動植物，記得曾經有人問我，當啲蚊咬佢時，佢應唔應該拍死啲蚊呢？定應該要愛護佢，俾佢吸血呢？」我哋平時會即時消滅啲蚊。對於曱甴都會咁樣。噉，臭屁勒呢？我哋對臭屁勒會用點樣嘅方法先至啱？
唔知有幾多人聽過臭屁勒呢種昆蟲？住喺村屋嘅人一定唔會陌生，佢哋經常會喺屋企出現，亦會喺啲衫褲内產卵。好幾年前，我喺屋企窗邊嘅蚊網上見過佢哋啲蛋：淺粉綠色嘅，一粒貼著另一粒，整整齊齊分成兩、三行，都算幾靚，所以由得佢哋。過了大概兩個星期，記得有朝返工經過見到啲蛋終於孵化成蟲，一次過見到十幾隻BB幼蟲，都覺得幾得意！當日放工返到屋企，打算第一時間再同佢哋打招呼，點知全部走晒。
我將呢個經驗同同樣住喺村屋嘅好友講，佢話啲臭屁勒一啲都唔可愛，仲話如果我家嘅貓貓同佢哋玩，我就會知「味道」。當時心諗，齋聽個名，覺得佢哋會放臭屁，咁最多咪俾佢哋臭下啫。
直到最近，繼細細個同曱甴有肌膚之親後，我同臭屁勒又有親密關係：當時啱啱沖完涼，坐咗喺客廳嘅櫈上，突然聞到一陣怪味，陣味唔係好難聞，起碼唔係會令我作嘔嘅味道，但真係好怪，係帶有杏仁味嘅一種強烈怪味，不過我好肯定唔係我嘅淋浴露嘅味道！
嗰陣味實在太強啦，我掀起我件衫聞下嗦下，想確定係唔係件衫洗得唔乾淨，一嗦，我就聞到陣味係從我身上發出，再嗦再望，啊！救命呀！見到一隻手指公咁大、棕黃色嘅臭屁勒，企咗喺我肚皮上，喺肚臍上小小嘅位置，好驚，本能反應係將佢捉住，隨手扔出，然後我即刻衝入冲涼房冲洗被臭屁勒踩過嘅肚皮，肚皮有小小痛，開始痕癢同紅腫了。途中隱若見到我家貓貓即刻想去捉隻臭屁勒，最終應該係我老公將隻臭屁勒捉走並放生。
由於同臭屁勒有咗肌膚之親，一定要認識清楚佢，於是上網揾揾資料，臭屁勒嘅學名係荔枝椿象，原來寄居喺荔枝樹、龍眼樹上，吸食佢哋嫩枝、花、果嘅汁液，怪唔之得，成日喺種左好多果樹嘅村莊出現。再睇睇資料，嗰隻臭屁勒當時一定係受驚，所以向我噴出臭液想嚇退我呢個敵人，輕微焯傷咗我嘅肚皮，攪到痕癢紅腫咗一個多月。
咁我當時應唔應該拍死焯傷我肚皮嘅臭屁勒呢？我哋同大自然相處時，究竟應該如何取得平衡？！其實，蚊子、曱甴同埋臭屁勒都有同一個特徵：身體脆弱，冇乜辦法保護自己。不過，佢哋都被迫創造一套零舍與眾不同嘅方式，嚟維持自己嘅生命。我哋雖然好難接受呢啲昆蟲所帶嚟嘅麻煩，但係起碼可以佩服自然界有咁豐富嘅創造力。
“Stink Bugs”
by Evette Kwok
I once overheard a tricky question that wasn’t easy to answer: “We are always telling people to protect the natural world and to take care of plants and animals, but I remember someone asking me whether she should kill a mosquito if it bit her. Shouldn’t we let it suck our blood if we want to look after it?” In most cases, we kill the mosquito. The same goes for cockroaches. But what about stink bugs? What is the right way to go about dealing with stink bugs?
I don’t suppose many of you have heard of stink bugs, have you? Those of us who live in village houses are certainly no strangers to them: they often turn up in our homes, and they lay eggs in our clothing. Many years ago, I saw stink bug eggs on the fly-wire screen covering one of the windows at home: they were a pale pinkish-green in colour and divided into two or three neat rows with the eggs close together. I thought they looked rather nice, so I left them were they were. About two weeks later, one morning as I went off to work, I remember seeing that the bugs had finally hatched out. In a single encounter I saw more than ten little baby ones. How cute they looked! But after work when I got back home and was planning to say hello to them before I did anything else, they had disappeared who knows where, every single one of them.
When I mentioned this experience to a good friend of mine who is also a village resident, she told me that there was nothing in the least bit loveable about stink bugs. She also added that if my cats ever played with one of them, I would get to know “that smell” for myself. At the time I formed the impression that these bugs could fart something terrible and that’s how they got their name. The worst thing that could happen, then, was that things would get a bit smelly for a time.
It wasn’t till quite recently that, following on from the “skin-to-skin contact” with cockroaches I had when I was a girl, I had a similar close encounter with a stink bug. I had just finished taking a shower and was sitting on one of the living room chairs when I suddenly got a whiff of this very strange smell. It wasn’t really a very bad smell — at least it wasn’t bad enough to make me want to throw up — but it was a very odd smell, a strange, very strong smell like almonds. But I can say with absolute certainly that it wasn’t the scent of the shower gel I used!
That smell really was much too overpowering. I lifted up the T-shirt I was wearing and took a good sniff just to make sure that the smell wasn’t due to the fact that my clothes hadn’t been washed properly. As soon as sniffed my shirt, I caught a whiff of the smell coming from my somewhere on my own body. After sniffing and looking some more . . . Ugh! Help! There was a stink bug as big as a thumb, brownish-yellow in colour, perched on my belly just above my belly button. Feeling very uncomfortable, my instinctive reaction was to catch it in my hand and toss it out into the air. After that, I dashed back to the bathroom to wash the place where the stink bug had crawled on me: my belly felt a bit sore, and it began to itch and turn red. While all this was going on, I thought I saw my cat wanting to go and pounce on the stink bug, which I think my husband finally managed to catch and to release outside.
Because of this episode of skin-to-skin contact with stink bugs, I was determined to get to know something more about them, so I went on-line in search of information. The proper, scholarly name for stink bugs is Lychee Stink Bugs — this derives from the fact that they live on lychee and longan trees and suck the juice of the tender stems, flowers and fruits. So it’s no wonder you see them all the time in villages where a large number of fruit trees have been planted. I also found out that that I must have startled the stink bug I encountered — that’s why it squirted its smelly liquid at me to warn me off, burning the skin on my belly slightly, with the itching and swelling lasted for over a month.
Should I have squashed the stink bug that burned the skin on my tummy? In our dealings with the natural world, how are we to arrive at some kind of balance? Actually, mosquitoes, cockroaches and stink bugs all have something in common: they are physically vulnerable and have no real means to protect themselves. However, they have all been forced to come up with their own novel ways of self-defence in order to preserve their lives. Although it’s hard to put up with the bother these insects bring us, at the very least, we can admire the rich creative power of the natural world.
Translated by Simon Patton
Chinaman Creek 